once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
