So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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