Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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