You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
