my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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