I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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