there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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