You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
