I only kidnapped one of them. chill
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
