i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
its not stalking. its research.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
