I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I am mentally ready for anal.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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