So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
