im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
should my penis look like a turkey
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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