He is such a slut. More and more my type.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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