Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
How external is "for external use only"?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
