he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
that's an acceptable place to lick
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
