you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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