It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
