I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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