the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
