Moan for me like Helen Keller
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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