You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
