nut hugger
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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