you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Dignity is for republicans.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Randomize
