Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
