The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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