I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize