found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
