My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm like, not good at living.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
