That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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