so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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