oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
