tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
