You're so nebulous sometimes
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
