i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
