I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
