I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Alive.
So much puke
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
