how do flat chested girls get laid?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize