I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
