Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
the raccoons are back...
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