I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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