Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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