Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
