You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
