I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
