Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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