I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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