had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up under a house in Key West
Will exercising make me less horny?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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