Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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