i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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