Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
