Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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