i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
