those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I wish i was in the wii world.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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