Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
soo... how was my night?
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