These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
