4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize